Intimate as hell, and raw as all fuck, Camp Bisco is the dive bar of festivals. I can remember back to when I initially attended in 2013 and tripped on LSD for the first time during Bassnectar’s set. It was one of the greatest moments of my life. Many fond memories were formed with my crew that year, and just when we decided to make it our annual tradition: it got canceled. Due to the surplus of deaths, arrests, security brutality (Hell’s Angels), and permits, the future of another Bisco was unclear – until April 29, 2015.
The announcement was made on their Facebook page and the internet exploded. Within a week or two, the full-lineup and tickets were released. So while the #RoadToBisco has been long and rocky, I’m happy to say that they were able to deliver one hell of a good time this year!
Total shit show. Was anyone shocked by this? *waits patiently* …no but speaking of waiting patiently….why the FUCK – #pause, let me just start from the beginning. The official site clearly stated that gates would open for campers on Wednesday at 12 noon. We did not arrive until 2AM on Thursday, to find out that the mountain had been shut down and they were turning people away. People who had worked full shifts and driven x hours were being told to go park in any parking lot they could find until 8AM the following morning when the excessive car searches would resume. Many GA campers were dropped off thinking a shuttle would be running all night and had to stand in line, outside, for 8+ hours before they were allowed entry. A bitch was PISSED. All anyone wanted to do was set up camp and get a good night’s sleep before the festivities but Camp Bisco sacrificed everyone’s safety and created a huge inconvenience because (at the root) security checkpoints were way more aggressive than they needed to be. Drug dogs. Fucking drug dogs? REALLY?!
Thankfully we were in RV camping, so we went through a different line, but even then security took around 20-30 minutes to search us….ripped apart our bags…and didn’t even check the outside storage compartments. It was such a fucking joke. Complete waste of time and resources. I understand the pressure you’re under due to the reputation that precedes you, but c’mon. You’ve got to do better.
THE CAMPING SITUATION:
The RV camping section was right at the beginning of the resort, and it had no grass – it was actually mostly gravel and broken glass. Annoying, but whatever. The allotted RV spaces were a little on the small side, but not terrible. Bathrooms were clean, close, and since VIP/RVs shared the same section, showers were free for us as well (until the next day when they started charging $5 – annoying, but whatever). Wait, did I actually enjoy this festival? Doesn’t seem like it, right? Lol I promise I’m getting to the good shit, stay with me. A few food vendors were set up along the short walk to the festival entrance, and security was pretty thorough here.
The event was held at Montage Mountain in Scranton, PA this year, which is the same venue that hosts Peach Festival. I believe this is normally a ski resort, which sucked for GA campers because their tents had to be pitched on a slope. #LeanWitItRockWitIt. There was an amphitheater-style main stage, two smaller stages, and an indoor stage at the lodge. But what makes this venue so unique is that there was an entire waterpark in the center of it. #DOPE! I meannnnn…like 3 different water slides, a lazy river, a splash pool, and a wave pool facing one of the stages! It was really cool but caused gnarly traffic trying to navigate between sets. HOWEVER, being that this was a water park, I have to admit that it was very nice having a REAL bathroom to use within the festival grounds! 😀
Now I personally chose not to participate in the water features because 30,000 people + 100 degrees = #WookBroth, but it was still nice to have that option. The wave pool was legit brown during Tipper’s set tho. I love you guys…but nah. Speaking of water….I only saw one refill station. For festivals who are so concerned with bad press from overdoses (dehydration if we’re keeping it real) you would think that they would make certain that even in your deepest K-Hole you could easily rehydrate. But what do we know, right?
Food & vendors were on *fleek* though. One night I got lost trying to find that 3AM Freddy Todd set and stumbled across a Wetzel’s Pretzel that was better than some of the men I’ve slept with. I may have came. Unclear. Anyways, was lucky enough to snag an official silver Bisco serlo pin, that Bisco tie-dye jawn, and a #Doses&Mimosas shirt that I’m convinced was inspired by yours truly.
TOP 3 PERFORMANCES:
*SPECIAL FUCKING RECOGNITION!*: I think we ALL need to take a minute out of our day to say THANK YOU to the event coordinators at Bisco for their performance on Saturday in regards to how well they dealt with that storm.
We were just walking into the festival grounds around 7-8PM when we saw stages being broken down/covered with tarps, and attendees evacuating to their campsites. People walking past were telling us they were shutting everything down – it was looking like a repeat of Hudson Project where, once again, both Bassnectar and Tipper’s performances would be canceled. All hope was lost until a staff member quickly took the mic at the main stage and announced: “IF YOU ARE UNDER THE TENT, STAY UNDER THE TENT. WE WILL RESUME ONCE THE STORM PASSES.” Bitch you would’ve thought he said “FREE KETAMINE” the way everyone ran down that hill! It was hilarious. The clouds rolled in and it stormed like a motherfucker but once it ended, as promised, back to business as usual. Bisco will ALWAYS have my respect for that.
If you didn’t hear about the after parties in the RV section then you must have been under a rock. A crew of kids in a yellow school bus built an actual stage equipped with huge speakers to allow artists to perform on all night, normally until 8AM. I know Subset, Levitation Jones and Manic Focus spun a few sets. Even Michael Menert and Exmag stopped by to check it out. It was a party. So clutch that we just so happened to park our RV directly behind them. Late night shenanigans in our backyard. You mad?! #StayMad.
FINAL VERDICT: THREE STARS!
Even though it’s always some BULLSHIT we have to deal with when it comes to Bisco, it will ALWAYS be that annual wooked-out family reunion that I wouldn’t miss for anything. It’s definitely not for everyone but Bisco will forever have a permanent place in my heart. Shout out to The Disco Biscuits who don’t get enough credit for their contributions to the community! See you all next year!
xo – Dark